


The Lesson of Eurydice

by Supergirlx55



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: All of the angst honestly., Angst, Canon Dialogue, Episode Tag, Episode Tag to "Orpheus Descending", M/M, Toby is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 00:38:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5270006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supergirlx55/pseuds/Supergirlx55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Orpheus looked back...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lesson of Eurydice

**Author's Note:**

> Written forever ago, but never posted. Sorry it's so dang short.

_“You giving me an order?”_

 _“No, man. I’m on my knees and I’m_ begging _you. Stay away from me.”_

 

I won’t. I can’t.

I love you.

I fucking love you, Chris! I want to shout it. I want to scream it at the top of my lungs. I love you, you goddamn motherfucking asshole!

I want to pick up the phone and hurl it against the wall.

I want to break down sobbing. Cry my eyes out until there are no tears left.

I do none of it; just sit there numbly and listen to the dial tone drown out my thoughts, while Sr. Pete’s hand lands on my shoulder in a hollow imitation of comfort.

I’m powerless.

Against this, like everything. I’m life’s fucking prag — from law school, to drinking, to Schillinger. And what I feel for Chris Keller, the only man I’ll ever love, is no less a brand on my flesh than the ugly swastika decorating my ass.

“Time to go, Tobias.” Sr. Pete’s voice sounds foreign and distant.

I don’t see the CO standing over me. Don’t feel the arm yanking me up, pulling me out the door. My feet move but I’m standing still, and when I’m back in my empty pod it’s like I never left it.

There is no Keller; and there is nothing _but_ Keller.

No career. No wife. No son.

There’s Holly, who’s thankfully still alive, but even she isn’t there anymore. Not if I want to keep her safe.

There is nothing but Keller. Nothing but his leftover space.

I won’t call again. I won’t write letters. I won’t wrap my hand around my cock each night and think of him: the man who left me to save me.

I won’t go to Massachusetts.

I’ll stop. I’ll end.

  
  
  


I’ll start anew.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to get better about posting things on here, I promise. You'll mostly see art from me, but there will be a few more fics as well!
> 
> Meanwhile, If anyone out there actually comments on this meager offering of a story, instead of just give kudos, YOU WILL BE MY BESTEST FRIEND. No lie. <3


End file.
